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Monday, 05 October 2009

blah

So I think that in high school and college they build us up to believe we are going to leave and change the world. Then you get done and its like oh wait I'm no where near what my dreams were. I think it is unfair how many of us are left wondering about life asking the why not me question. If life is suppose to be great why am I stuck here like this. When is it my turn to be happy in the things of life. I am tired of waiting, tired of hoping. I hate seeing others who do not know what this feels like, who have not had to want something this bad, whose lives have been blessed, im sure they have their small struggles but they do not compare to having to wait. Sometimes all I want is just to be loved, to find that special someone, or to find that job/career that will make me happy. Everyone says it will happen in time....but seriously do you know how awful it is to wait for these things. Everyone I know who is waiting for these things they are not happy, they might be for a time or enjoy things to help them get by but we all have those days those moments when we cant hide from what were missing and we all break down. We are the lost, the lonely, the waiting. Where is hope? When will this all end. Will it really be worth the wait? How much more of this can I really take? Why does nothing change? What is there to aspire to when everything seems so meaningless, so empty?
Please may all of this end soon.

Thursday, 18 June 2009

USED TO by Chris Daughtry =my life

You used to talk to me like
I was the only one around
You used to lean on me
The only other choice was falling down
You used to walk with me like
We had no where we needed to go
Nice and slow
To no place in particular

We used to have this figured out
We used to breathe without a doubt
The nights were clear for the first time that I'd see
We used to have this under control
We never thought we used to know
At least there's you
And at least there's me
Can we get this back?
Can we get this back?
To how it used to be

I used to reach for you
I got lost along the way
I used to listen
You always had the just right thing to say
I used to follow you
Never really cared where we would go
Fast or slow
To anywhere at all

We used to have this figured out
We used to breathe without a doubt
The nights were clear for the first time that I'd see
We used to have this under control
We never thought we used to know
At least there's you
And at least there's me
Can we get this back?
Can we get this back?
To how it used to be

I look around me
And I want you to be there
Cause I miss the things that we shared
Look around you
It's empty and you're sad
Don't you miss the love that we had?

You used to talk to me like
I was the only one around
The only one around

We used to have this figured out
We used to breathe without a doubt
The nights were clear for the first time that I'd see
We used to have this under control
We never thought we used to know
At least there's you
And at least there's me
Can we get this back?
Can we get this back?
To how it used to be yeah
To how it used to be

To how it used to be yeah
To how it used to be
To how it used to be

Wednesday, 17 June 2009

Reality

It's strange how life changes...your walking along and everything is ok.....then something changes you wake up as if from a dream.... the bubble you were living in suddenly pops and reality comes crashing in....what causes this change is a mystery....you just wake up one day changed.....one moment things change and there is not reason no great defining moment for it...it just happens for no reason.....maybe it was some forgotten dream that disturbed the soul....or some change in the air for whatever reason something inside changes..... and the dream bubble is gone and we face reality....but the thing is the bubble now gone is seen for what it was a fake a mere image that was maring the view....created maybe to mask that which was bad so that we can get by...and then we see it false and empty, shallow, halow.....and we embrace the new reality even in its pain for it is real and it allows us to move on,....
.....somehow we move on even when we lose that which we can't live without we still move on........

Sunday, 15 June 2008

Well i dont really know what to say, I just wish that everything would figure its self out. I need to know where i'm going in life and whats going to happen to me. I'm trying my best to be patient and wait on God, and the trust Him but sometimes its so hard. I feel so stuck and trapped and like everyone is trying to change me. I wold love to meet someone who loved me for who i am completely and accepted me totally. Who didn't try to change me, or condemn me for my faults. I know we all need to be perfecting ourselves and I am, but i'm sick of people naming everything they think is wrong with me. Usually there only petty things that are personal preferences than anything I really need to change. I just want someone who accepts me and believes in me. Who believes in my passions and dreams and inspirations. Who see's the amazingness that is me.
I have to say this song describes it pretty well. I love TFK, and their songs.

09. New Design

Phenomenon
by Thousand Foot Krutch

Lyrics:

Wait, I might hesitate, am I a minute too late?
Please Lord I need to know, this pressure’s got me lettin’ go
So if I’m wrong, will I still carry on and end up where I belong?
I’ve never felt this way before
I’ve never come so close, I’ve never worn so thin
I’m stepping out instead of closing in, I left myself behind when I made up my mind
No turnin’ back this time, this is my new design

Chorus
Sometimes, I feel so alone
It feels like I’m standing on my own
And I’ve never felt so far from home
It’s comin’ on, it hits me when I step outside my zone
(2X)

See, what you’re doin’ to me
Could have been you so easily
But you look the other way
Even though we were close the other day
And I’m still tryin’ to get up this hill, I need you just like a pill
And I’ve never felt this way before

Chorus

Do ya get the feelin’ everything will be alright?
I’m movin’, so pleased to meet you, but I am movin’ on
Tried to pass it to another, but it’s comin’ on
I can’t wait to find out, break me
I can’t seem to climb out of this hole, I’m stuck again
If I’m not out in a minute, I’m jumpin’ in, let’s start again

I’m sick of this, let’s just get it out, are you feelin’ it?
Move back, ya wanna feel how real it is?
(2X)

Chorus

Sometimes I feel so alone!

Monday, 19 May 2008

I think xanga is wierd now. Well im home and bored and trying to figure out life and all that. As well as looking for a job, car, place to live, etc. Lets see i've watched alot of tv including alot of stargate both sg-1 and atlantas, avatar, dr who (soon will be watching unaired episode that they think they will make us wait two weeks to see hah I love you tube it saves me-so yeah plan to you tube next episode soon). Oh and sunday i watched alien resurrection, and the guardian. I really liked the guardian if you havent seen it you should. Oh and lots of Indiana Jones since its coming out this weekend its all over tv, kinda sad that i havent been able to catch ncis though, and of course Narnia this past weekend. Oh yeah and some wierd western thing i wasnt really watching it, oh and enchanted. As well as many other various tv shows. Well i have a long list of things to do that i am slowly getting done. Anyways will see. Might start reading, still have a room full of unpacked things. Well thats it for now.